7 Ways Not to Appreciate Your Pastor

Since it’s Pastor Appreciation Month, you may have already noticed a few suggestions floating around the internet about how to show your pastor how much you appreciate them. Just in case those ideas aren’t doing it for you, and you’re wanting to come up with something on your own, I wanted to offer a few of my own suggestions… to avoid. These gifts may say “We appreciate you.” in your mind, but your pastor will probably view your generosity in a whole different way.

  1. Get him that great new character tie on sale at the pharmacy. Yes, I know… who doesn’t like that little Frankenweenie dog, right? But resist the urge. Just pay for your bunion pads & foot scrub and go home.
  2. Pick up two sets of bunion pads & foot scrub – 1 for you and 1 for him. You may think this a modern day equivalent of washing his feet, but I’m pretty sure he’ll just get a little weirded out by the whole thing. Besides, when it comes to proper foot care, brand preference is everything, right? And don’t even think about going down the tandem pedicure road with your pastor.
  3. Offer to help him polish his resume. Does this really require any explanation?
  4. Socks. While it seems that socks may be the gift that’s (almost) appropriate for any occasion, they’re really not. Your pastor probably has a specific brand and style he likes, and unless you know what that is, don’t even try. And if you do know what that is, he may just get a restraining order and ask you to stalk someone else attend some other church.
  5. A portfolio full of the evidence that documents when he started recycling his old sermons. He already feels a little guilty about this; there’s no need for a reminder at this time.
  6. A hard drive full of the evidence that he’s been ripping off Rick Warren sermons for the last 6 years. Again, with the guilt! There are some great points in those messages… a lot of great points.
  7. A hundred dollar bribe to skip the annual stewardship series that’s coming up next month. Seriously? You’re going to have pony up big time to miss those nuggets of fiduciary wit… or take that early season ski trip to Vail again. It worked last year.


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