Last night, I was perhaps more disappointed/discouraged with ministry than I’ve ever been before. If it weren’t for some awesome stuff that’s happened over the past couple months, a renewed sense of the incredible potential here, and an awareness of how Satan is so deceptive… I’d probably have been drafting a resignation letter last night.
I’ve been trying to rationalize what happened and come up with excuses for my students, but I still am at a loss to explain it. In ten years of ministry, I’ve never seen anything like last night. I tend to question myself anyway, but last night brought the “what am I doing wrong?” question to a whole new level.
Then this morning, reading Haggai, I came across God’s words to Zerubbabel and Joshua as they began to rebuild the temple – and was encouraged (It’s a short book, you should click the link and read it now). The city had been ruined and these guys were part of the restoration crew. But, the people were not making God a priority. They’d rebuilt their own houses, but totally neglected the Temple. Things were not well in Jerusalem – their work was not being rewarded because they were thinking of themselves first. But God drew them back to Himself. He reminded them that He was with them to strengthen them for the work at hand – work that would bring glory from the rubble of their day.
It reminded me that I’m not here because of my own will. God has brought me to this place with a purpose in mind – to draw people to Himself. He has brought me here and He is with me. I can lose sight of that if I let myself focus on all that I need to do to build this ministry. But this ministry isn’t about me or what I can or can’t do. It’s about Jesus, and I know that if I keep lifting Him up and pointing people’s attention to Him – He will keep drawing them to Himself.
To do so, I have to make sure He’s given priority in my own life first, then work with great expectation as He builds something from the rubble that will bring Him glory. He is building His church, and hell will not win!