What Do You Do When Everything Sucks? Pt. 2

Mike —  June 17, 2015 — Leave a comment

[*This is a post from 2011 that I’ve reworked today, when hail damage was the good news of the day!]
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What do you do when everything sucks?

What do you do when everything sucks?

Just thought I’d follow up on a previous post sparked by the struggles of my favorite football team. What Do You Do When Everything Sucks? I offer a few suggestions:

1. Walk around with a tragic look, so people can tell that everything sucks. Black turtlenecks can help with this, but not those cool Steve Jobs kind – keep ’em sloppy and a size or two too big. Be sure not to offer any real clue when people ask what’s wrong, though. They might just do something helpful and mess up the whole suffering vibe you’ve got going. Just embrace the suckiness and let life take shots at you like a fish flopping around the bottom of a dry barrel.

2. Frequently let out heavy, audible sighs. These are kind of wasted when you’re alone, but try a few for practice anyway. See how long you can keep the exhale going and experiment with a little bit of vocals thrown in for good measure. If you work in a cubicle, you can learn to bounce these off the ceiling into some neighboring boxes, while not alerting some others to your plight. This way, you can ensure a little sympathy from that nice looking hamster in the next wheel over and avoid any awkwardness with that guinea pig, Stan, on the other side. Be really careful with the vocalizing though, too much and you’re just going to start laughing at how ridiculous you sound and the levity of the moment may make you forget that everything sucks.

3. Lie around and don’t do anything productive. Being productive may actually change something about your circumstances, then what would you have to feel crappy about?

4. Turn off the lights and walk around in semi darkness – in your sloppy dark turtleneck, of course. When anyone asks why the lights are off, just shrug your drooping shoulders and tell them you didn’t notice… must be because of all the darkness you feel surrounding your soul these days.

5.Write a blog post that will remind yourself what a moron you’re being as you go around as if everything sucks, when in fact, every thing does not suck. Actually, while it is true that some things do suck, there are many things not sucking at all. For example, our wife is awesome and your kids are genetically gifted because you’re not so bad yourself. Your friends think you’re great and love to hang out any chance you give them. So, once you’ve acknowledged that there are some things that don’t suck, turn the freakin’ lights on, ditch the “sackcloth and ashes,” grab hold of just how deeply you are loved by the one who made you, and get back to living the life He dreams for you.

(Also, throw that stupid turtleneck away and get some clothes that fit.)

Check out this other post for some practical ways you can Recalibrate, today, and move on from the suckitude.

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