I’ve noticed I am really affected by “how things go” on a typical Wednesday night. Some nights just click and I go home with a ton of energy. My wife says she can tell how things went by my demeanor. I can’t even go to bed for a while until the excitement wears off. Other nights, I get home exhausted.
Tonight was one of those nights. Things just didn’t go very well. Lots of new students and “the group” wasn’t really doing much to welcome them. Kids’ attention scattered everywhere. I left out a song from the projection program (kind of hard for them to sing a new song when they can’t even read the words). Didn’t speak well enough to keep their attention. Clean up kids didn’t/couldn’t stick around.
Maybe I beat myself up a bit, but it just didn’t go that well and I was feeling pretty down. When everyone was gone I plugged my Zune into the sound system and started to vacuum the room. Lots of popcorn and chips on the floor (no spilled drinks, though – a little silver lining for the night). As I finished cleaning the floor and put the vacuum away, I was reflecting on all of this and just how unhealthy it is – for me, my family, the ministry itself. I turned off all the lights and sat in the still room to pray and think about it. As I prayed, an awesome song called “Only You” from David Crowder played. It’s really about how it’s only God that matters. As I offered myself up to God I was reminded of how success/results/impact is really in His hands not mine. I need to be reminded of that often.
Maybe you do, too. So don’t forget. Ours is the responsibility to respond in faith to His Voice. His is to accomplish what only He can.