12 in ’12 Tuesday: Not So Simple Rules

Mike —  February 14, 2012 — Leave a comment

Since it’s Valentines Day and everything, I thought we’d hit the subject of dating a little bit. I always liked the concept of the show 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter. If you don’t remember it, read the title of the show again; it’s pretty self-explanatory. I especially liked these rules from the show:
– You make her cry, I make you cry. 
– Safe sex is a myth. Anything you try will be hazardous to your health. I promise.
– If you pull into my driveway and honk, you better be dropping off a package because you’re definitely not picking anything up.
– If your pants are so baggy you can’t keep them up, I’ll help you out – with my staple gun.

As the father of two girls,  I’ll be developing my own set of rules, so I asked Emily to help me out with a post and write out some rules of her own. Since she’s only 12, we haven’t had a lot of dating discussions – it’s a pretty short conversation at this point that is basically summed up by “Not yet.” I didn’t give her a lot of prompting for her list, but she’s got a pretty good start: (I’ll put her answers in italics, then add a few bonus rules of my own!)

Dad’s prompt: A boy wants to date you. What are your rules for him? (Before the first date – and during any date.)

Emily’s Rules: Before the first date-
– he has to be a christian
– he has to be nice to me
– he can’t try to make me jealous
– he has to be someone I like
– he can’t have a girlfriend when he asks me out
– he can’t be a “bad boy”

During any date-
– he can’t burp
– he has to be nice to me
– follow all rules from “Before the first date”


First, I just have to say I’m pretty proud of my daughter. I love that she’s already expecting a guy to love Jesus and she’s not interested in putting up with the immature crap that some guys pull to manipulate girls. She’s demanding loyalty already and expects a guy to not be full of himself. She’s setting the bar pretty high, and I have a feeling that whatever guy finally wins her heart will have had to earn it.

Just to thin the field a little further, I’ve kicked around a few possibilities of my own:
  – If your GPA can be counted on less than 3 fingers, go do your homework first and try again after the next grade check.
  – If your parents gave you a car for your 16th birthday that’s nicer than what I have, you’re already suspect. If you’ve already wrecked it being stupid and they replaced it with another, I might let you go for a walk together.
  – If you can’t say the word marriage without breaking out into hives, get some ointment, figure out what you’re going to do with your life, then ask again.
  – If your mom has to drive you on your date, I’ll probably laugh a little, but you can take my daughter out.
  – If you’re rude to your mom, learn some respect for the woman who brought you into this world, then we’ll talk.
  – If you’re rude to my daughter’s mother… just run, boy, run – I won’t be able to hold her back for long!

Obviously, since Emily’s 12, some of these rules will only be phased in over the next several years. And just so no grandma’s are harmed during the reading of this post – this is all still very hypothetical. There’s no point dating until you can get married and there’s no possibility of that for at least another year and a half!

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